KAYE TROUT'S BOOK REVIEWS 1

I specialize in reviewing Print-On-Demand (POD) published books for my website and Midwest Book Review. Please query for a review by email to hgunther234@hotmail.com.

Friday, June 15, 2007

NARCISSISTIC LOVERS: HOW TO COPE, RECOVER AND MOVE ON by Cynthia Zayn & Kevin Dibble

New Horizon Press
PO Box 669, Far Hills, NJ
Genre: Self-Help/Educational/Nonfiction
Rating: Good
ISBN: 13: 9780882822839, $15.95, 196 pp.


Quoting from the back cover:

"In a revealing study of relationships where partners love themselves first, last and always, researcher and teacher Cynthia Zayn, along with Counselor Kevin Dibble, help you diagnose whether your partner is over the line and has narcissistic personality disorder.

"This easy-to-understand, step-by-step guide shows you how to develop your intuition, recognize danger signals and choose sound, practical solutions for healing, even when you’ve been deeply wounded.

"Drawing on their research and interviews with a variety of men and women who’ve been narcissized, the authors help victims understand the pain brought on by their abusers, show why these self loathers can’t change and offer hope to lovers of narcissists for healing from their ‘N-fliction.’"

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is briefly defined as an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy. NPDs are constantly envious of others and/or believe others are envious of them; are arrogant/haughty coupled with anger when frustrated, contradicted or confronted; see people as ‘things’ to satisfy their needs, and are always on the lookout for a new supply. Do you know anyone like this?

Narcissistic Lovers is well organized, informative and strives to be helpful to the narcissized, but provides no real input from narcissists. The authors tell us that NPD is not curable but that NPDs can learn to modify their behavior, which they do anyway when they revert to their "charming selves."

Nowadays, there’s a technical term for every step you make, every breath you take, but I guess it’s necessary. In my opinion this book is about typical relationship conflicts between men and women in western society today–dominance vs co-dependence. And, truthfully, aren’t we all a little ‘damaged’ . . . to some degree?. . . whether from childhood or past experiences. Relationships are complicated and emotionally painful, but when one doesn’t work, we generally go on, with hope, to try again, unless, of course, fear and anger have closed us down.

How many people do you know who have a ‘normal’, healthy, happy, supportive relationship with their partner? Considering the frequency at which people change partners and divorce in the U.S., I don’t imagine too many. Can this book help you improve your relationships? Maybe, maybe not, but it will give you some insight into contemporary relationship behaviors.

Reviewed by Kaye Trout - June 15, 2007